I do expect for the Introduction to be grabbing the reader instantly. Also, plea

I do expect for the Introduction to be grabbing the reader instantly. Also, please try to make the citical response more detailed. My completed essay has to be around 1500 for me to get full marks.
1. Introductory Paragraph
This is where you’ll introduce your topic. The intro has three main elements.
Hook: Your opening lines are known as your hook. Knowing how to write a hook is what will draw your reader to the end.
Body: You can expand this type of generalized “setup” with another sentence or two.
Thesis Statement: The end of your introductory paragraph contains one very important element: your thesis statement. This will close the first paragraph on a strong point and set up the body of the essay. Every point you make within the body of your essay must relate back to your thesis statement. Thesis statement examples can give you inspiration, too.
2. Body
In the body of your essay, you’ll present a series of supporting details to defend your argument. This can include any or all of the following:
evidence
facts
statistics
brief narratives
quotations
Below is a body paragraph example with specific order:
While Colier’s overall position may well be true, namely that our social media production and consumption is runaway and dangerous, her support for her argument is comparatively thin and generalized. For example, Colier argues that that technology is replacing lived experience for commodified experience–life events and moments pursued only for the purpose of being captured. She argues that we focus now on projecting a certain image of ourselves, an “identity the experience promotes, not the experience itself” (Colier, 2016, para. 6). That is, we are capturing, sharing and consuming experience instead of relating authentically to the world. This is such an important part of the argument that it demands more convincing data than Colier’s mere opinion or observation. Yet the closest Colier comes to proving her point is simply to assert that “Experiences are opportunities to build our brand” (2016, para. 6). Colier’s claim is so generalized that even a brief self-analysis one’s own interests, hobbies, activities and social media use is likely to render it meaningless.
In fact, the fundamental idea here that technology is changing our relationship to life and reality is supported by other researchers. But where Colier’s point is overgeneralized, some of the other literature provides clarity, focus, and substantiation. For instance, psychologist Jean Twenge’s “Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?” (2017) claims that “the arrival of the smartphone has radically changed every aspect of teenagers’ lives, from the nature of their social interactions to their mental health” (para 8), and goes on to detail transformations from earlier generations to the “iGen” generation (born 1995-2012). Twenge covers such topics as a shift from independence and wide social experience to dependence and increasing tendency to stay home (para 14), declining rates of dating (para 15), increasing lack of interaction with family and, ironically, close friends (para. 24), increased loneliness and depression (para 29-30), and more. Rather than asserting sweeping statements that really cannot be proven, Twenge articulates a broad yet focused claim (i.e., “the smartphone is changing teenagers’ lives”), and supports it with a range of anecdotal and research data that empirically illustrates and measures the effect of phones on a particular generation (not all people). This focus and precision make Twenge’s argument more compelling.
The best way to visualize the body of your argumentative essay is to commit to three claims and back them up.
Check for all when revising each component!